Best Interest

How will you ever be sure who really has your best interest at heart? Is there ever a time that its so evident that someone doesnt, or when it comes from someone so close that we ignore the situation for what it is, neglecting the truth behind the matter and just play on the strength and or longevity of the relationship. At some point there has to be a time when this is evaluated or atleast genuinely thought about. From another angle, why does it seem that the negative situations we encounter daily/weekly/monthly/yearly bring so much change (positive) change. Self evaluation, surveying your circle, yourself and immediate surroundings can only bring about a change, a refreshing newness that we begin to lose once we comfortably "settle" in. So, when you do find the "square", the odd ball out...etc how easy do we confront the situation, or better yet how do you confront it. When you realize that what was once "best" or *insert your own connotation here* for you, is no longer that, how do you fix it? .........when yall find out, let me know...quite frankly I'm struggling! Tryna find what's in my best interest

Picture This

picture this no better yet picture me. Young MAN, not to be mistaken by any means,working hard towards his dreams. Straddling the line between confident and down right arrogant, year of the "10". Lifes good, just finished the season and really just been chillin, head high all day, big ass smile on my face ALL DAY! Phone ringing on the regular, choosing. Sun shining fresh J's, hoop shorts and Nike shirts everyday. living the game, playing the game, hell You really couldnt tell ya boy shit lol huh GAB...now help me picture this: Year older, yet instead of feeling like im "that nigga" its more like damn another day, loosing sleep, stressing and seem like nothing will go right, NOTHING...complete opposite of the previously mentioned but nobody on the outside would ever know. Funny how the tables turn right? and the people closest to you can always tell when your putting on. Picture this, no matter how beautiful you try to paint reality, you cant always keep up the guise. The prefix for reality is what? REAL, in all you do try the best you can to be real at ALL TIMES, painting the best picture possible, without unnecesary "erase" marks. Just tryna shed some light on some lessons learned, some after losing friends and some after listening to my real ones. Better late than never! Picture this life without unnecessary "erase" marks, no scurrying to fix things that never had to be broken...just be REAL!!

LOVE! SHOUTOUT TO GABB, i feel like blood couldnt make us any closer, i prolly wouldnt rock with her if she was Kinfolk lol

ooooohhhhweeeee

my bad peeps, i been neglecting ya'll but im back on track, new post comin asap

where i stand

It's like a game board. Right foot on its complicated and left foot on hope. It's complicated because I don't know how this situation is helping and hope because I'm hoping that it is, but I think I'm playing the same game on two different boards. One being "hearts desire" and the second being "my mind". Mind is never idle, hoping for the best but bracing for the worst. Thinking and wondering how is this beneficial. The hearts been busy, highs and lows, loving you, missing you but its confused, how can two things that were so mutually entangled become so individually strung? Running from what would make us inevitably stronger once we came out of it. So I slipped, right knee on faith, left on overwhelmed...wanted advice from those that would listen, still not where I need to be, I'm losing forreal. A good friend said "you'd be damn fool to turn around now and lose everything you gained" that was nothing but confirmation. Before the next move there was another to be made, prayer. I know he wouldn't bring me to you just to lose you, I believe in divine connection instead of "by chance", destiny instead of karma. The next move led me to determination and faith, determination to prove myself and faith in knowing that this to will make us stronger. im off the board now catchin my stride, working for what i need, hopefully what i want will come!!! PEACE, thanks for listening lol gotta take these notes now tho. LOVE...

War

Rev run said "when your going thru, just keep going" man yall don't know how timely that was, feel like its blows coming on every front, nothins good enough, I mean nothin. Nevertheless, for me this WILL NOT be a time to clam up but more of a time of promise, understanding that every single test you go thru has a lesson behind it, so I encourage myself, in the end really and truely, your the only one that can get you out of the current state your in, but I will rejoice when the smoke clears, knowing that no matter what I stood my ground. A little more battle tested, and wiser, a little stronger, circle a little tighter. Making every single thing that comes out of this time even more meaningful and substantial, stronger and overall better. Down but NOT out...PEACE!!!!

filter me

Yo yo yo uh huh you what it is lol. Chose the title filter me because earlier today there was the need to filter some things. When information is brought to you rather requested or just offered you really have to look at a few things. 1st who is tellin me this, how viable are they, if info is just offered, why are you tellin me this, what are your intentions ect...some people only mean harm, everyone doesn't have good intentions so be your own "filter" believe half of what you see and none of what you hear...PEACE

Ps- I need some new followers on this jant

timing reflection

Man I swear every time I sit in this psych class somethin hits me, check it...bout 2 days ago I got a call from the past, tryna patch a friendship up, that's cool, especially since the past was what it was an I'll never forget you, so its cool, we friends...I caught myself looking back at it all and Smh. Coming to the realization that memories will always be there just because as much as you may want to forget something you can't, your brain isn't wired to forget something on Que lol needless to say I started looking at situations around me but then I looked forward to what I think will be my future. It a reason the past is what it is, can't try looking back and drag the past into your present, why? Because if you go trying to bring things back...then it'll take you from where you are currently to where you were. No one should back track, stopping current progress, especially when the lights so bright ahead, so....can we really be friends, should we be friends? Huh ima think on it...class just started psych202...PEACE!!!!

final decree

A final decree, almost a plea, an unknown love you pulled out of me, walls shattered, feelings didn't matter, I gave you all and now I'm feeling shattered, shackled...almost in a bind, this shit is crazy man why'd it have to be, you...or was it, is it still, me...uncharted territory, beyond the glory, leery and now weary why'd it have to me, I played the game and wanted to be through, but a relationship qualifies two, if it was easy then anybody could be you...shit got gloomy, you begin to pull away, second guessing, over whelmed, stressing. I want you this is true but what's it take for me to keep you, is it out of my hands, have I already lost you? In closing this is my ailing plea. If its not me you still want, Smh I guess its not meant to be, but I decree with my own issues and flaws I love thee with every ounce of me, I pray and I pray and I pray to keep you here with me.

acknowledge

The ability to acknowledge your short coming shows continuous growth and progress, knowing that theres a process to almost every aspect of life, some shorter than others and of less significance. Putting things into perspective some things will work themselves out, hopefully for your good but if not atleast for your benefit...2 in a day oooohweee lighter post comin, I'm just dealing at the moment...LATER

first things first

Just creating this blog today for I guess some sort of release, scattered thoughts and my mind ia never still at this point and time. Let me introduce myself, my name is david Thomas 20 year old college athlete. Forever evolving mind, so let's get started. When stressing times come you tend to cleve to what you know, what brings comfort... so what happens when the people that are "suppose" to be there aren't. Mad at childish things that they have no control over. Your in a relationship so the next logical person to turn to would be your partner, or would it, should it? If so what would you expect their response to is be? What happens when the response you needed is not the response you receive? Start to wonder should you have kept it to yourself, the discourse is all over your face, so the situation is obvious but discussing the issue would only hurt, not help...sad to say but you dont want to talk to noone else but when the only trusted option goes south, you realize your in a place where your goin thru something that is just for you, tailor made for you to go through. Congrats your now inside a scattered mind, in closing "I tip my hat to myself, the average individual can't handle what I go thru occasionally" carmelo Anthony...PEACE rap to yall later